01.06.19 Happy New Year!

Happy 2019! We had a wonderful Christmas and New Years here in the Underwood house. I’m still living in the blissful euphoria of having Dierks home and how wonderful he is doing. He is growing, doing beautiful baby coos, and starting to roll. He has a strong neck and doing better and better with tummy time. We continue to have visits with an Occupational Therapist weekly to watch him and learn ways we can help him continue to thrive. Feeding is good, he nurses really well, so we are able to skip the g tube a few feedings a day. He still doesn’t have interest in the bottle, but I know many moms have this challenge, NICU baby or not.

He is a very laid back and happy baby. Easy to smile and doesn’t cry much unless hungry or wanting to be held, which I’ll happily oblige! He has a lot of stimulation with big brothers and sister kissing, hugging and what some may call “smothering” him constantly. I try my best to not fight their desire to love on him.

He definitely looks like one of our kids. He looks like his siblings, but which one is constantly up for debate. The kids love to claim him. He is a lot of Ralphie, but awake I am seeing Topher as a baby and now Betsy just the last couple of days.

I have another special story to share, one that I was somewhat hesitant but I think it’s important to be reminded of not only this miracle baby, but the many signs that we are not alone in our challenges, if we can just be open to seeing them.

As you know, Dierks was born with a Grade 4 brain bleed. In our first weeks at Children’s Mercy, he had numerous MRI’s and ultrasounds to make sure the bleeding had stopped and to monitor any changes in his brain. At one point in that first week, we asked to see the recent scans, since we hadn’t seen images of his brain since “the worst night ever.”

Chris and I, Dierks care team consisting of Dr Nyp, (Neonatologist and our fan fave), Sarah his nurse practitioner, and other Neurology specialists and nurses were all in the room. Dr Nyp held up the image of his brain with all of us huddled around to see.

Immediately I saw it, a face. Looking back at me, on the right side of his brain, where I was supposed to be seeing an injury. I looked around at the others, all listening nodding along. I honestly have no idea what the doctor was saying, I was so distracted. I couldn’t NOT see this biblical looking person on the paper. Once the doctor stopped talking, I overcame my fear of being called crazy, and asked, “Does anyone else see the face?” I pointed it out and was met with “oh yes, wow I see it too.” A couple people bringing it close, needing further explanation but we all saw it.

I believe now it’s Mary’s face, looking back at me to tell me she was with us. She was there taking care of my baby. This was an early sign that everything would be okay. We immediately texted the image out to family and it started circulating throughout the staff in the NICU. I’ve included the image below. I realize it may not be as obvious to everyone and that’s okay. In those early scary days of August, it served as hope and a sign of Mary being with us when we needed her most.

I truly believe signs are all around us. Some call them coincidences, I prefer to call them God moments. This entire experience has heightened my awareness of the God moments that happen every day. I’m so thankful for going through the 2018 that I did. It took me down to the valley, through the most challenging experience of my life. But I’m okay, I survived it, and now I’m armed with faith and perspective and gratitude. I’m ready for 2019 and all the ups and downs it will bring.

On Sunday January 27th we will have a special blessing during 10:00 mass at St. Elizabeth. Dierks was baptized on August 14th, 2018, on “the worst night ever.” Our pastor, Father Greg Haskamp, rushed to Children’s Mercy after our call, and baptized our sick baby boy with only Chris and I crying over him. Although he’s already been baptized, we felt it’s still important for him to do the tradition of introducing him to the parish and celebrating him being blessed with the Catholic faith. After mass, we’ll host a gathering in Seton Hall under the church. If you are in KC and would like to join us at our home parish, all are welcome! We look forward to celebrating Dierks, and the many wonderful blessings he has already brought to this world.

Wishing you an abundance of love, blessings, and God moments in 2019!

Love, Jessie